"What has surprised you so far about parenthood?"

I thought this was an appropriate post for Mother's Day, though slightly late and different from my standard updates on our daily lives.  A few months ago, my mother posed the question to me "So, Melissy, what has surprised you so far about being a Mom?" and it really made me think.  Some surprises were more obvious than others, some more meaningful. Below are a few of the biggest surprises (so far) in this adventure in parenthood. 
1) My "mama bear" instinct:  Everyone told me how I couldn't possibly imagine how much I'd love Andrew until he got here... so that love, in and of itself, was not truly a "surprise".  What did surprise me about my feelings for Andrew, was this overwhelming desire to protect him.  I'm not referring to the need to protect him from germs or bumps and bruises.  I'm referring to the feeling that I would protect him from harm at any cost and put his life in front of my own.  I guess that is a deeper love than I had anticipated after all.

Mother's Day 2012 - Bent Creek Winery

Who wouldn't want to protect this face?

2) How much I cared about nursing: I had this idea before Andrew came along that I'd "give it a go", and if it didn't work out, I would not stress about it, and he'd be fine on formula.  After all, Mike and I are both formula babies, and although a friend once asked me to imagine the lost IQ points because of this (yeah... seriously), I think I can hold my own and Mike has achieved a Doctorate in Theoretical and Computational Chemistry, so lost IQ points were the last of my concern. But then, Andrew latched on from hour 2 of life, and the nurses called him their "Star Nurser"... and my original goal of 3 months, became 4, and then 5, and then 6.  And before you knew it, I was very unhappily introducing formula and resisting the weaning process.  Who knows how long I would have nursed if we hadn't moved?  Having to use up my frozen supply of pumped milk before moving is why I ended up introducing formula.  This, coupled with the large amount of weight I was losing and starting full time daycare, led me to wean completely at 7 months.  Now that Andrew is on 5-6 bottles a day, I often thank my lucky stars that Mike can feed Andrew out in public or more importantly, at 6:00 am if needed.  I also enjoy no longer having to watch what I ingest - wine, cold medicine, margaritas, Corona, etc. :)

Livermore Valley Wine Festival!

3) My lack of confidence: I was surprised to learn that years of baby-sitting, being a camp counselor, having an Elementary Education degree, and 5 years of professional experience in public schools cannot prepare you for bringing home a baby.  No matter how many babies you've held, rocked or fed, when it's your baby, all confidence goes out the window.  The first couple months of Andrew's life, I questioned everything... is he hungry? should we let him cry it out? should we still swaddle him? is the bath water too hot? too cold?   I felt so overwhelmed by all the wrong decisions I could potentially make, that I had a hard time noticing all the right decisions I was making without a second thought.  Luckily, this self doubt faded as I realized that I'm pretty good at this Mom thing.  No, I didn't breastfeed until the age of 3, like the Mom on the cover of Times.  And No, I didn't let Andrew sleep with us in bed (I was sooo afraid of crushing him!).  But, when Andrew falls and bumps his head, he wants me to hold him.  And when Andrew has laughed the hardest, it's because of me being silly.  And when Andrew is nervous around a new person, it's me he clings to.  He definitely knows his mommy, and he is healthy, happy and thriving, and I take credit for at least half of that :)

4) Mike: The person who gets the other half of the credit was probably the biggest surprise so far.  Mike needed some convincing that we should even have a baby.  He had only held a few babies prior to Andrew - mainly at my insistince, and never for more than 2 minutes.  Mike, who had once shared a concern for not knowing what a Dad's role is, having lost his own father at an early age. But, from Day 1 in the Hospital, Mike was hands on, making decisions with confidence and ease, and in general being the perfect father.  Besides changing diapers, giving baths, getting up in the middle of the night, and all the other "parenting" duties - Mike has supported me - while recovering from childbirth, through nursing, and when returning to work.  He has really stepped up in every way, and I am so happy I forced him to have a baby.  ;)    I think we make a very good team.